I remember
I recall now, why I started writing.
I was thirteen, sad, grumpy, and an angry teenager. Not sure why I was so angry but I guess that as teenagers, we have so many emotions and we can’t seem to be able to handle them.
Well, that grumpy little teenager was also very quiet and found it hard to express herself.
Then my cousin introduced me to non-fiction. I was intrigued. I had read some in high school but I didn’t realize how much reading could help me come to terms with how I was feeling so it made sense to start putting my thoughts down, even when I didn’t fully understand them.
Once I started to write, it seemed impossible to get me to stop. I wrote everywhere — my school books, my English essays, and even went from just writing my thoughts, and poems to filling up journals with my non-fiction books. Some of them I never shared with the world and probably never would, but they were an outlet for my feelings, frustrations, and creativity. In writing, I slowly began to find myself.
Looking back now, I smile because my experience with writing and reading — because I became more curious, helped me also explore other things I enjoyed like sketching fashion designs to exploring my interests in the human mind and how the body works.
Now that I think of it, I can’t imagine how I went the last few months without really writing anything except coursework. I wouldn’t say that it was a creative block — no, it wasn’t. I guess I just felt so numb with disappointments that life threw my way that I just didn’t even acknowledge the world around me anymore.
But the truth is that I couldn’t tell my story without referencing writing. Funny how I had almost thrown it all away because I was disappointed that my life hadn’t gone the way that I wanted it to.
It’s funny how life has a way of sidetracking us.
I found myself drifting from the very thing that once helped put a lot of things in perspective, months slipped by without a single word penned, and was slowly becoming forgotten.
And one day, I woke up and started to wonder why. I realized now that it wasn’t just writing that was on hold, it was also the other goals I had planned for the rest of the year. They were all pending and no matter how much I tried to encourage myself, I couldn’t seem to be able to make headway. And then I realized that it was FEAR.
Fear
A universal affliction, one that often holds us back from our true potential; a cunning trickster, convincing us to play it safe when we should be spreading our wings and soaring. It took me a while to realize that the very things we fear the most are often what leads us to greatness.
That is what the enemy wants to take away from you — he knows that if you remain where you are and do not take the steps you can take to greatness, you’ll live a mediocre life and not be the light of the world like Jesus wants, so he tries to put a hold on those plans. So it’s essential to confront that fear and push past it, knowing that it often guards the path to our greatest achievements.
I am not sure what you may have gone through, but as I write this to you today, I feel a heavy weight lifted off my shoulders. For the first time in months, I feel like myself again. I want to tell you that no matter how tough following your dream, God’s plan for your life, or your passion may be, or how impossible, do not let fear set in. Because a life worth living is worth living well, and a life well lived is not without taking risks.
Your dreams are valid, your voice is valuable, and your story is worth telling.
I’m always cheering for you!
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